I’m a geek. You’re a geek. We’re all geeks. Sure, maybe not of the dressing-in-elf-costumes-and-speaking-Klingon variety, but we’ve all got our pop culture obsessions that border on the disturbing. Really, how is a diehard Baaaahstan Red Sahhhx fan that different from a Star Wars geek? Both worship at the altar of media- or computer-generated gods, right? Both base their happiness on something that they have no control over, right? Both hope the good guys triumph over the Evil Empire and Darth Steinbrenner, right? I’ll go toe-to-toe with anybody on this one; it’s my way of helping out my geek brethren who tend to respond to assaults from the mainstream with nasal bleats or sniggering in-jokes (“Yeah, well…you’re…you’re too stupid to tell a Balrog from an Orc.”).

That said…

…I thought I’d share with you a couple finds. First off, here is the post that Esquire dubbed “The Geekiest in the History of the Internet,” a dissertation on the human-versus-elf percentage in the lineage of Arwen from the Lord of the Rings (Liv Tyler played her in the movie):

“…Arwen is actually less than 20% human. Rounding up her lineage is
Teleri 53%
Noldor 17% (all elves 78%)
Vanyar 8%
Edain 19%
Maia 3%
This assumes that Nerdanel was a Noldor, Turgon’s wife was a Noldor, and Nimloth was a Teleri.”

Got that? Good, ’cause this next one will make your head explode. These are the original lyrics to the Star Trek theme song (you know, the one with the ululating soprano who kicked in right after Kirk said, “Space…the final frontier…”). Why didn’t we ever hear these lyrics, you ask? According to The Urban Legend Reference Pages (, it’s because Gene Roddenberry just wrote ’em up and tacked them onto the publishing rights of the original theme song in order to cut himself in for half the hefty financial pie of the original composer. Anyway, here are the lyrics…sing along at home:

The rim of the star-light
My love
Is wand’ring in star-flight
I know
He’ll find in star-clustered reaches
Strange love a star woman teaches.
I know
His journey ends never
His star trek
Will go on forever.
But tell him
While he wanders his starry sea
Remember, remember me.

Ouch. Hurts just to READ it.


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