October No. 14
Amazing news on the baseball front, as the Braves have dealt for All-Star pitcher Tim Hudson and, just like that, pretty much guaranteed themselves another berth in the postseason. So what if it could be another short stay in October? You gotta be in it to win it…In other baseball news, the Yankees may or may not land freakishly talented mullethead Randy Johnson…and I couldn’t really care either way. Matter of fact, I hope they do get him–it’ll make their inevitable postseason flameout that much more satisfying. (More satisfying than the uber-choke of 2004? Nah, but still, any Yankee loss is a good loss.) Sure, the Yankees will certainly make the playoffs, and probably win the AL East, but they won’t win it all. Why? ‘Cause fantasy teams of multiple stars ALWAYS fall apart. The 2004 Lakers, the Dan Snyder Redskins, the Damn Yankees (not just the team, the ’80s-arena-rock all-stars: The Nuge! That guy from Styx! That guy from Night Ranger!)–big-game failures, all of ’em. Every championship team needs its grunt crew–its Robert Horrys, its Bill Muellers, its Duff McKagans*. And once the Jeter-Torre-Bernie-Posada nucleus bails out, the Yanks are done for quite awhile–their farm teams have less talent than Ashlee Simpson, most high-profile free agents won’t want to play with a supporting cast of scrubs, and no other manager on earth will put up with Steinbrenner’s absurd demands the way Joe Torre has. Seventy-win seasons–they’re closer than you think, Boss.
*-Guns n’ Roses bassist and single drunkest musician ever to survive his band’s heyday. You could catch a good buzz just from looking at photos of ol’ Duff.