Poker = Evil Bitch Goddess

Damn you, ESPN, and damn you, Degree antiperspirant, for your latest promotion: Free Poker. Go right here and dive in. I am hopelessly addicted to this fucking game for two reasons: 1. it’s free, meaning I don’t have to use the ol’ “porn credit card” (which I don’t really have, honey, s’a joke) or look at my children’s pleading faces as I gamble away their college funds online. 2. there’s a huge ratio of chumps there. I’ve already won two tournaments in the past two days, and in the “Daily Big Play” this evening I placed 49th out of 510 fellow online losers.

So–screw you, ESPN and Degree. As soon as I win my way into the Sunday qualifier–either this week or one of the next 10–I’m gone, I swear.


3 Responses to “Poker = Evil Bitch Goddess

  • Jason
    13 years ago

    You’re not a loser. I play poker online for money. I’m a loser.

  • Dude, I’m getting more and more tempted every day…

    We ought to get a game together in Chicago, once we figure out who all’s gonna be there.

  • Jason
    13 years ago

    I’m so down for that. I played last night at a friend’s house, lost 30 bucks, not the worst loss by any means.

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