Poker = Evil Bitch Goddess
Damn you, ESPN, and damn you, Degree antiperspirant, for your latest promotion: Free Poker. Go right here and dive in. I am hopelessly addicted to this fucking game for two reasons: 1. it’s free, meaning I don’t have to use the ol’ “porn credit card” (which I don’t really have, honey, s’a joke) or look at my children’s pleading faces as I gamble away their college funds online. 2. there’s a huge ratio of chumps there. I’ve already won two tournaments in the past two days, and in the “Daily Big Play” this evening I placed 49th out of 510 fellow online losers.
So–screw you, ESPN and Degree. As soon as I win my way into the Sunday qualifier–either this week or one of the next 10–I’m gone, I swear.